So much have i gone thru since last august. One moment i was getting @#$#@%T! from my instructors, crusing my jet above 20' 000 feet in the clouds, speeding along the highways of Perth, feeling the "airs" of being a pilot trainee and enjoying my weekends slurping ice blendeds or crushing in the waves. Late nite dvds, movies and black jack.
Next moment i'm 6 mths into the NUS system, made new friends, lousy grades, slack, chill', saturday basketball (yeah!!) relationship, happy , sad, devasted, humble engine student with lousy grades and a bleak future.
i'm happy that there's hope for some things... like i can finally tell myself somethings are turning out well. Like my relationship. Always had a feeling i wrecked someone's life, devastated her, blew her away till she can't help but cry all the time for quite a while. That feeling sucked. Now i'm begining to feel that she's recovered, a more mature person now. Glad that i did not ruin this part of the life for her, but instead, added something, memories, love, concern. Only now can i declare that i've no regrets for this relationship.
Work? grades are begining to look slightly better then last sem. must only continue to put in effort (more!!!) and hope i pull myself out of the mess i got into in sem 1.
Feeling down? Well all the time basically. CAn only tell myself that "I AM SPECIAL!". Different from others. I am ME. JJ, Jun, ANg JUNJIE, or even Jeryl. There's so much more to me. And that is why i must not let myself down. Feel down, most of the time. feel sad for myself? hardly. Always thot that i was capable of putting up a good front. Guess i'm wearing out. need a breather, a change of enviroment. Go overseas for a holiday or something.
Good times will come. Tml will be a better day.
Cheer up dude,
for i am me.
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